Thursday, 10 October 2013

To gracefully let go of things not meant for me ...

The past few weeks have gone by fast.  I feel like I am quite literally galloping towards Christmas. I had hoped to be making an exciting announcement about a book deal this week, however I decided at the very last minute, despite all the hard work of planning and proposals that the organization I was going to be working with was not what I thought it was. It’s been a disappointment, much like finding out someone who you are a huge fan of is actually not all that nice. At one point last week I was so upset by an aggressive and confrontational person my hair started to fall out in clumps.  I took this a sure sign that it was not for me.

I keep on reminding myself of the Buddhist saying that in the end "only three things matter.  How much you loved, how gently you lived and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you." Clearly this book was not meant for me, so despite being really saddened I shall try my best to be graceful and some really positive things have come from this.  I have to go back to the drawing board, but there is another book brewing…

October is my favorite time of year but I’ve had little time to appreciate it.  I use to wonder why there were so few women in highflying positions.  I now realise that if you have children they are demanding, but when you have sick or poorly children then they are beyond demanding.  They are everything. I remember being so certain that having children was never going to affect my career, or my sex life or my figure. With a size 12 figure, two full time personal assistants and being newly married I was beyond naïve.  I was ignorant of the most fundamental instincts of life.  So here I am sleep deprived, a size 12 a dim distant memory and no personal anything anymore let alone two assistants. I am, however, happy and I wouldn’t change a thing.  

On Tuesday I went to the World BreadAwards. I was the category leader for the sourdough section and loved every minute.  There were almost 40 breads to choose from and Charles Campion was my partner, along with team judges Linda Hewett and Luke Collings from The Cake and Bake Show. It was a brilliantly organised event and I really felt that it was done with the same good spirit that bread is baked with.   The winners were The San Francisco Sourdough by The Bread Factory and the runner up was from Alex Gooch, artisan bread baker.
My mum popped over yesterday and kindly dropped off a bucket of pears from her tree, so I figure I will bake a pear and walnut muffins tomorrow. I’m also about to add some more courses on to the cookery school website which is always fun.  A jam and preserves making course, a pastry making course and a fantastic guest tutor with Chantal Coady of Rococo Chocolate coming up for the day.

My trades are finishing off the last of the renovations in the coach house as the bedroom and breakfast room are finished today, so the bed and breakfast will be ready as soon as the downstairs is insulated and boarded out.  So we are just a just a few weeks away from being able to advertise that students will be able to stay over.

I have to admit that I am really looking forward to people staying, although there will always be a degree of chaos in the place, with chickens, dogs, children and a new kitten, people will have to just take us as they find us. 


  1. You know, it's taken me a long time, but I have finally got my head around not letting people bother me.

    What other people think of me is not my business.

    I don't know where I read that, but when I did I thought 'yes, that's so true'. Why worry about other people? I repeat that to my daughter when she comes home upset because someone has told her she is this, that or the other. It'll take a while for it to sink in, but if I can help her to see why it's so unimportant to worry about people and what THEY think of you, then I shall be very happy.

    While what I'm saying is different to the situation you talk of, it's a bit similar. Sort of. I'm sure you'll know what I'm getting at!

    So I'm sorry your project hasn't worked out this time. Next time it shall.

    the muffin plan for tomorrow sounds divine!


  2. p.s don't mind telling you I am slightly freaked out by the closeness of people to the bees on the right! x

  3. So sorry things didn't work out. When things don't work out for me from time to time, I have come to tell myself that there is a reason which is just not apparent yet , that it was just not meant to be, there is something just waiting around the corner. I now let them go and concentrate on the things I can influence. Sounds like you made the right decision to me.

  4. So sorry to hear about the book deal falling through Vanessa...and about your hair. You must be so stressed at the moment with all that you have going on the moment. I really don't know how you do it all....I though I was busy!
    Good luck with the new b and b venture....and this season's courses....and remember to snatch some time for yourself! (this is the pot calling the kettle black mind you....last weekend had 14 for sunday lunch, working all week including a two day to Belgium.Got back in at 10.30 last night and already planning for next week!)

  5. Hi Vanessa, I'm so sorry to hear about the book deal falling through! I adore Prepped SO much, and I look forward to having another of your books in my collection and I have absolutely no doubt that I will in the near future. Vanessa, having followed your blog avidly for nearly two years now, I know that you are a force to be reckoned with, and it is clear that whatever you put your mind to WILL manifest itself but at the best possible time for YOU! This just wasn't the right time, and those were certainly not the right people. When it happens, it will happen perfectly and you will feel a sense of relief that you have avoided working with anyone who can make you feel so stressed that your hair falls out! x
    p.s. The pears look gorgeous and the muffin idea sounds divine - will have to try that combination myself!


If you are reading my blog I must warn you that I am not impartial. I want to influence you. I want to make you stop for just a moment and consider the effect of a lifetime of seemingly insignificant decisions and how making small delicious choices can change the world.

I believe that we can change the world one bite at a time.

It's a delicious revolution.